Being His Hands and Feet

I would be absolutely, positively lying to all of you if I said that today was easy. I sit here typing through tear stained glasses as I am finally sitting on my own couch just exhaling.

I thought I was tough. I thought I was strong. So here's the truth...I am a weak pile of mush that used to put on a very brave front. Remember a couple of weeks ago when I talked about being broken? Broken to the point where only God can put me back together? I am there and I am rejoicing in that raw brokeness!

I kept watching the "play by play" board that tells you where your loved one is at any given time during the surgery process. For the first time ever, when that board changed from "In OR" to "Surgery Started" it was like time just froze. It was the end of life as we know it and the beginning of this new unknown world. All I could think of was at this moment there is a man cutting my husbands leg off. At that moment, God knew what I needed better than I. Ron, one of our great Deacons at the church, walked into the waiting room. He sat with me, some times in silence, some times with small talk, but he sat there. I was trying to be the "brave Janine" that always comes out at times like this. Then the board changed to "Surgery Completed". The surgeon came in and said something about the surgery went very well, and now starts the hard part of recovery. Then as quick as he came...he left. I totally forgot that Ron was sitting next to me and I just....well.....BROKE! The tears started flowing and I lost it!! There it is...bravery through weakness.

THEN.....

I looked up and there was Ron, this grown man, grieving right along with me. His tears were just as real as mine. This is what doing the Christian life is all about. We are not alone!! There are angels all around us!

Today, we needed to pull from the strength of our fellow believers instead of being the strength.
Today, all of you have been Christ's hands and feet and arms with hugs. Today, I realized that we don't have to do this on our own. That God has placed on each and every one of your hearts to help us out. From a simple prayer whispered on our behalf to being there to hold the hand of a broken and grieving wife.

I am beyond humbled that God loves us all this much! Again, we thank you!

I am privileged to be the wife of Rob Haines! He is, by far, the most brave person I have ever met! He has been suffering physically for years. Today, he is suffering so much that he has let it show. Please pray for comfort and rest as he heals. And please pray for our journey ahead!

Father God, we thank you for the privilege to be your servants. Even when it means being uncomfortable. For it is when we climb out of our comfort zones that we can truly serve You!