What Exactly Does Broken Look Like?????

Last week I talked about how God gave me permission to "break". And ever since then, I have been on this journey of becoming completely and utterly....BROKEN.

We had the 2nd opinion at the surgeon on Thursday. It was absolutely not at all what we were expecting to hear. Amputation of the foot....YES! we were ready for, but taking the leg to just below the knee...NOPE!! We spent the ride home in silence as we were both trying to digest what we heard. We have the appointment for opinion number 3 on Tuesday, however, when we look at the facts, it is a matter of "when" not "if".

BROKEN? What does that mean exactly? I wish I could say for sure because I'm not convinced I'm done "breaking" yet. I keep holding on to this mentality that "I" can do something about life. Reality being what it is....I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL WHATSOEVER!!!

BROKEN? I think being broken is a journey. A journey that is as individual as each of our DNA. The only constant fact is that once we are completely broken, our GREAT GOD will come and put us back together again, just like Humpty Dumpty.

BROKEN? Right at this moment, for me, is raw truth. If I am asked, "Are you doing ok?"; "Are you hanging in there?". My answer will now be the raw truth of "NO! I am not ok, but I am seeking God through this horrible storm." "NO! but I am certain of one thing and that is that HE will NEVER leave me nor FORSAKE me." "NO! I would very much like to get off this roller coaster ride now, but NEVERTHELESS....not my will, but THINE be done."

God doesn't ask us to put a bow on the bad and "pretend" that we are A-OK. HIS miracles are better seen through the raw ugliness of the truth!

I thank you, God, for this storm. I thank you, God, for the miracle. And I now stand down and stop trying to control this whole situation for I have no control anyway. I have faith that just as always, with every other storm, YOU have showed yourself in such a mighty way and I will sit and wait upon YOUR glory as I continue to break!